Human beings are creatures of habit. Our lives are shaped by the patterns we follow—ways of thinking, reacting, and behaving that have often been with us for years, if not decades. Some of these patterns serve us well, helping us build stability and resilience. Others, however, quietly hold us back, leading us to repeat cycles that no longer support the life we want to create.
The key difference between patterns that support growth and those that limit it lies in one simple question: “Why?”
Sometimes Help Could Be Beneficial
If you’re not willing—or don’t feel the need—to seek help from an NLP guide or a hypnotist, but you recognize some unwanted or puzzling patterns in your own life, there’s still a powerful step you can take. Simply reflecting on them together with a trusted friend can be incredibly valuable.
When we open up to someone who sees us from outside the box, we often uncover connections we might have missed alone. A safe, curious conversation with someone we trust can shine a light on the hidden roots of our habits and behaviors, even reveal the root causes of root causes. Might not take much, a few words here and there could help to walk the path of your patterns and reveal something you might have missed.
A Real-Life Lesson in Hidden Patterns
In the context of NLP and hypnotism, one fellow Muslim brother—who himself managed to quit smoking with the help of hypnotism—shared a story that perfectly illustrates how unconscious patterns shape our lives.
He told a true story of a girl who, as a child, faced emotionally challenging times when her parents divorced. Whenever her parents argued, she was taken to her grandmother’s house. To comfort her, her grandmother would give her a slice of special lemon cake. In those moments, while sad and scared, that lemon cake became a source of comfort and relief.
Years later, her grandmother had passed away. As an adult, she found herself drinking Mountain Dew daily, without fully understanding why. Over time, this habit led to unwanted weight gain. It wasn’t until she reflected on her past that she connected the dots: the sweet, citrus taste of Mountain Dew was linked, deep in her subconscious, to the comforting lemon cake her grandmother had once given her.
That realization was a game changer—an aha moment that revealed how a deeply rooted childhood association had shaped her adult behavior.
Patterns are powerful, but they don’t exist in isolation. They’re often tied to the identities we’ve built over time. If you’d like to explore this connection more deeply, we’ve written about it in our earlier piece on Shifting Identities.
The Power of Reflection
When we pause and reflect—genuinely asking ourselves why we think, feel, or act in certain ways—we create a moment of awareness. Without that awareness, unconscious patterns run the show. They quietly shape our choices, relationships, and opportunities, often steering us toward outcomes that feel frustratingly familiar.
Think of it like walking the same path through a forest. If you never stop to look around, you may not even notice there are countless other trails branching off in different directions. Reflection is what helps us see those other possibilities.
The Risk of Staying on Autopilot
Without questioning ourselves, we often:
• Repeat old outcomes – believing things “always turn out this way.”
• Project past experiences into the future – suggesting or expecting similar results because that’s all we know.
• Limit our potential – unconsciously building our decisions on outdated beliefs.
This isn’t about blame or judgment. It’s simply how the human mind works: our brains seek familiarity, and patterns create a sense of safety. But what feels safe isn’t always what’s best for our growth.
Uncovering Root Causes
Asking “why” regularly is a practice of curiosity and courage. It invites us to dig beneath the surface, to uncover the root causes of our patterns. For example:
• If you often say “yes” when you want to say “no,” what’s driving that? Fear of rejection? A childhood belief about worthiness?
• If you find yourself drawn to the same kind of unfulfilling job or relationship, what’s underneath? A need for control? A belief that you don’t deserve more?
Root causes are not always easy to find, but they are always worth discovering. Once we see them, we can start to consciously choose different responses.
Creating New Pathways
The beauty of recognizing our patterns is that awareness opens the door to change. By asking “why” and reflecting with honesty, we give ourselves permission to step off the old path and create a new one. Over time, new behaviors and perspectives become new patterns—ones that support growth, authenticity, and fulfillment.
A Simple Practice
Try setting aside five minutes each day to reflect on a single moment that stood out to you. Ask yourself:
• Why did I react that way?
• What past experience does this remind me of?
• What would be possible if I responded differently next time?
Small, consistent reflections like these gradually bring unconscious patterns to light.
Recognizing our patterns is the first step; reshaping them into empowering habits is the next. Once you’ve gained clarity about what kind of patterns or behaviors you want to transform, consider reading Atomic Habits by James Clear.
It’s an inspiring and highly practical guide to building small daily actions that compound into meaningful long-term growth.
Final Thoughts
Growth begins not with doing more, but with noticing more. The next time you find yourself stuck in a familiar cycle, pause, breathe, and ask: Why? In that question lies the power to recognize, release, and reshape the patterns that define your future.
Your invitation: Don’t just read this—practice it. Choose one pattern in your life today, big or small, and gently ask yourself why it exists. Share the reflection with a trusted friend, write it down, or simply sit with the insight. Every “why” you uncover becomes a doorway to greater freedom, choice, and growth.
Remember: awareness is the seed of transformation. Plant it often, water it with curiosity, and watch your life evolve in ways you may not have thought possible.
Enjoyed this article or felt moved by its message? Stay connected for more thought-provoking content! Get ready for inspiring stories, expert tips, and new insights on living a balanced and fulfilling life. Subscribe now to receive these valuable articles delivered directly to your inbox! Have an inspiring day, and keep becoming your best self!
Leave a Reply